Sick Obsession
by Kiki Hera Shadows
Summary: Allen's always been in love with Kanda, ever since the first day he laid eyes on him. He told himself over and over that, that love he felt for Kanda was special. He will have Kanda, and if he can't have him, no one can. AU. Obsessed!Allen. Yullen.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, my muse is being a ****b****itch again. I can't even finish writing one fshfasjdn story without thinking about what I'm gonna write next. Perfect… Thank you so much muse -.- I adore you.**

**I do not own –man, 'cause if I did, there'd be a lot more yaoi and yuri… a loooooot more. :]**

**Parings: KandaxAllen, mentions of KandaxLenalee, slight LavixAllen. **

**Rating: M for later chapters.**

**XxX**

**Chapter One:**

**Hunted**

Allen stared out the classroom window with a bored expression; his elbow propped up on the desk so his head was leaning against it for support. His hazel eyes blinked softly as he noticed the first signs of snow fall, a smile began to form on his soft, pink lips as he watched. It was the beginning of winter and the temperature had dropped drastically over the past couple days, and the buildings' heater system had broken down three days before the winds picked up. Feeling a small draft around him, the 15 year old boy wrapped his coat tighter around himself; his teeth grinding tightly, trying not to shiver too much. His hands were covered by white gloves to keep his fingers warm while his snow white hair was covered by a black beanie.

Allen's gaze turned away from the window and looked towards the front of the class, where his chemistry teacher was still talking. Allen had tuned out from the beginning of class. He didn't really like science all that much, but as long as he was passing the class, it wasn't all that bad. His lab partner was never there, and his best friend was a table behind him with his lab partner, which happened to be the teachers' little sister, and Allen's partner's girlfriend.

Allen glanced behind him to see Lavi snuggling his face into his bright orange scarf, his hands shoved into his coat to keep warm. Leanlee was shivering next to him, unconsciously moving closer to Lavi to steal his body heat. Lavi had known Lenalee for years now. In fact, he was the one that introduced Lenalee to her current boyfriend, Kanda Yuu, which so happened to be, Lavi's other best friend. Allen came second to Kanda. Lavi loved them both, but had known Kanda for far longer than Allen. Lavi wasn't completely sure if Kanda even liked the girl, but as long as he treated her correctly, and didn't abuse her, Lavi would stay out of their relationship.

Lavi caught Allen's gaze and smiled softly at the boy, though his smile was covered by his scarf. Allen noticed Lavi's cheeks move though; he assumed that he was smiling at him, so he smiled back.

"Allen! Lavi! Please stop flirting with each other and pay attention! This is going to be on your midterm!" Komui Lee yelled out suddenly, making Allen turn around so he was facing the board, his face turning into a nice shade of red. Some of the students in the class snickered; others rolled their eyes in disgust.

"Brother!" Lenalee protested, giving her brother a dreadful look, making Komui cringe and rub the back of his head as he continued to teach.

Allen looked down, hiding his face in his coat; his blush growing from the embarrassment. Everyone knew Allen Walker was gay; that he preferred men over women. It wasn't a secret anymore, thanks to Lavi screaming it out loud in Homecoming a couple months back. Allen had been depressed for almost a month after that, feeling like everyone glared down at him every time he walked by. He felt like when everyone looked at him, they looked at him with disgust and anger. Lavi had helped him, apologized like crazy and held him when he wanted to cry. Lavi would pull him out of class when someone made a comment about Allen's sexuality and told him it was okay; told him he was there for him.

Lavi didn't care about Allen's sexuality in the slightest. He liked Allen, but honestly, what's not to like about him? He's cute and innocent, honest, pure and simply adorable, and he's wickedly good at poker, scary even. Allen had features that resembled a girl, but at the same time he looked muscling, if you ever see him naked or half naked at that. Allen had soft, pale skin and hazel eyes. His hair was a bit odd considering that it was white and he was only fifteen, but it made him look much more…

"Hey, Moyashi," Allen glanced to his right to see Kanda standing by their desk. A glare was directed to the white haired boy as Kanda narrowed. He was wearing his usual black coat and his long black/blue hair was tied up in a high pony tail. Under his black coat was a navy blue turtle neck that was made to look like a second skin on Kanda. Surprisingly enough, the Asian wasn't as cold as the others in the class.

"What, BaKanda?" Allen asked, snuggling more into his jacket, ignoring the glares from the other male.

"You're sitting on my seat, Moyashi." Kanda growled out.

Allen looked down in confusion, and then finally realized he was sitting near the window. In other words, he was sitting in Kanda's chair. "O-Oh." Allen stuttered softly in embarrassment. Allen pushed the chair back before saying, "I'll get up—"

"Don't bother, Moyashi. My seat's already been infected with you sitting on it." Kanda harshly spat out before pulling out the chair that was originally Allen's and sat down. Allen, who was about to get up, clenched his jaw and sat back down on the chair.

"Never would have taken you to be a germ-a-phobic asshole, BaKanda." Allen said, his good (well somewhat good) mood easily vanishing with his lab partner appearing. Kanda only grunted in response and narrowed his eyes at the front of the class as Komui continued to teach.

**XxX**

As the end of the class grew closer, the students began to grow inpatient. They watched the second red hand tick by slowly with anticipation. Lavi stared at it, biting his lower lip softly since his fingers were currently inside their warm mittens. Part of him was anxious to leave the classroom, but part of him knew that when he left, he was going to get an earful from Kanda. Nothing was worse than to chuckle and pretend Kanda didn't scare him at times, when clearly, Kanda would terrify both human and demon alike.

The bell finally ran and Komui dismissed the class. Lavi stood up and grabbed his bag as Lenalee and the rest of the class followed suit. Lavi swung his bag over his shoulders and stepped back, allowing Lenalee to walk out before him, then followed her slowly. Both of them stopped by Allen's and Kanda's desk to wait for the two who usually took their sweet time to pack their things, even though Kanda never has anything out.

"Come on, Kanda." Lenalee said, a smile planted on her soft lips. "You promised to take me out today."

"Tch." Kanda stood up and grabbed his bag, pushing his chair in and walked to Lenalee. He wrapped an arm around the girl's waist. He leaned down and placed a hasty kiss on her lip. When they pulled away, Kanda had left Lenalee panting and red. "Let's go." Kanda said and the couple made their way out of the room.

Allen stayed frozen in his spot, his arms gripping his bag tightly as a strong pain began to throb in his chest. He sighed and shook his head to get rid of the aching jealousy. He sighed and walked to Lavi, putting a fake smile on his face. "Ready to go, Lavi?"

The older male smiled sadly, knowing far too well when Allen was faking his emotions. He could read anyone like an open book. He knew that Allen had a crush on Kanda and had this crush for nearly three years now. It pained Lavi to see his friend so hurt, but they both knew Kanda didn't swing that way, and they both know for a fact, that Kanda hated Allen. Lavi wished he could do something for Allen, anything, but for now, he could only play along with Allen's game.

"Yeah."

With that simple yet short answer, Lavi took Allen's hand and lead him away from his desk, and from the class. He knew Kanda and Lenalee would be busy today so hanging with them would be impossible unless he wanted to be decapitated. And with all honestly, Lavi would much rather keep his head in place.

When they stepped outside, both Allen and Lavi were welcomed with a freezing slap in the face. Allen shivered and moved closer to Lavi and sneezed. The only downside in winter for Allen was that he always got sick. Lavi noticed this and wrapped an arm around Allen's small frame to keep the boy warm.

"Maybe you should wear my scarf." Lavi stated as they walked down to the parking lot. Lavi's house wasn't far from the school. It was exactly three blocks away and happened to be the biggest house in the neighborhood. Lavi lived with his grandfather, who was part of the Bookman Clan, which made Lavi the heir to the fortune.

Allen looked up at Lavi; pure astonishment covered his red face. "No way! You need it, Lavi!" Allen yelled at the redhead. Lavi chuckled and patted the boys head.

"Don't worry 'bout it, Allen. You need it more." Lavi said softly, watching the soft white smoke touching his lips as he spoke. He stopped them from walking and removed his arm from around Allen. He reached up and unwrapped the long orange scarf from his neck and placed it around Allen's neck, wrapping it a couple times around it so it wouldn't be too long and the boy wouldn't trip and fall face first into the snow. Lavi smiled despise how cold his face now felt.

"Thank you, Lavi." Allen said softly even though he felt bad for taking Lavi's scarf. The older man was visibly shivering slightly from his upper body. Lavi grinned as they began walking again.

"There's no need to thank me, Moyashi." Lavi grinned as he saw Allen's left eyebrow twitch in annoyance.

"No, not you too, Lavi!" Allen cried out in frustration. His red cheeks getting redder from the anger he was feeling, and the cold wasn't helping. Lavi laughed and grinned at the small white haired boy. He loved to tease him.

"If Yuu could call you that, so can I." Lavi smirked at Allen, who only glared at him with those innocent hazel eyes. "Don't glare at me, Allen." Lavi pouted slightly and stopped when they were in at the schools gate. "Damn, looks like this is where we part." Allen looked around and noticed where they were at last.

"I should give you your scarf back." Allen said as he began to remove the scarf, only to be stopped by Lavi's hands.

"Nah," Lavi smiled down at Allen. "Keep it for now." Lavi's warm smile seemed to melt the snow around them as he leaned down and kissed Allen's forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, right? Seven sharp?" Allen nodded, feeling his face warm up from the kiss.

"Yeah. Say 'Hi' to Bookman for me." Lavi nodded then waved as Allen turned and began to walk down the street opposite to his. Allen, once he was far away from people he knew, snuggled himself into the scarf and breathed in deeply. His smile dropped and he hid behind the scarf. He didn't want to go home so he could just clean the house all over again because his Master was such a dirty pig he couldn't do it himself. Even so, his Master brings home rich whores almost every day so the place was bound to get dirty. And to top it all off, his Master was hardly there to begin with.

Allen wished he didn't have to go there, he wished he could just go to the park and wonder around. He wondered what Lavi did when he got home. He wondered how his grandfather treated him. He wondered how Kanda was; wondered what he was doing and where he was. But every time he thought of Kanda, he thought of Lenalee, and every time she appeared in his thoughts, he wanted to do two of these two things: Kill Lenalee Lee, or kill himself because he knows Kanda Yuu will never be his.

**A/N: Well that was the first chapter… I think it came out okay… I'm not sure how long this story will be; it'll probably be one of the shortest I'll write though… who knows. All depends. Anyway, hope you enjoy the slight Laven and what not… Though I do not enjoy writing KandaxLeanlee, in fact I very much hate it. =.=**

**Forgive-ith me for any mistakes. I am only human... Though sometimes I'd like to think my self- ANYWAAAAY... :D CHOCOLATE FAIRES ANYONEEE?**

**~ SaYa**

**K A N D A**


	2. Chapter 2

**Whelp, it's the second chapter of amazingly amazing joyness! Anyway, for those of you who read my other stories, Heart Unwind and/or To Hell and Back, I have news.**

**To Those Who Read Heart Unwind: **

**I currently have that dreaded thing called Writers Block. I knew I was gonna get it eventually. *shakes fist in the air* Damn it all. I mean I know what I have to write I just don't know **_**how **_**to write it, or if that makes any sense at all! Ugh. So stressful -.- So, a thousand apologies to everyone. **

**To Those Who Read To Hell and Back: **

**Taiko and I are currently working on this one as we speak, so no worries there! We're half way done (Overly exaggerated much?) and I'll probably have it updated soon. It'll be a short chapter though; huzzah for fillers! :D**

**Anyway, onward with the story!**

**xXx**

**Chapter Two**

**Snow Day**

Lavi glanced out the window of the large library that his grandfather owned in the manor; his eyes were tired and exhausted of staring at countless pages of knowledge he had to memorize. It wasn't all bad, most of the things he read fascinated him, but there was a point in time that he just grew bored of reading about war after war. The wide window had small spider web-like frost on the glass, decorating it and showing off how cold it was outside. The window pane outside was covered in snow. So far, three inches of snow had fallen; if this continued there would be one thing all students will be looking forward to tomorrow: a snow day. He'll be able to slip out of the house before his grandfather wakes up and makes him study some more.

"Are you finished or are you just fooling around again?" His grandfather's stern voice broke him out of his trance. Lavi tore his gaze away from the window to grin innocently at the old panda.

"Gigi, you worry too much. You'll get more wrinkles like that, you old panda!" Lavi's grin widened, but the comment only earned him a hard slap to the back of his head. Lavi's face collided with the book in front of him with a loud noise of flesh on wood, thanks to the wooden table underneath the book. He groaned and pulled his away from the book, fearing that the book's text had stayed on his face, or his face had stayed on the book's yellow pages.

"That hurt, Gigi..." Lavi mumbled to himself and pouted slightly, looking up at his grandfather's dark eyes.

"Stop being such an idiot and maybe I won't keep hitting you" The old panda turned around and walked out of the library, leaving Lavi to his thoughts yet again.

With a sigh, Lavi turned around and his gaze met the frosted window again. He sighed and closed his eye and leaned down, resting his head on his hands. He was worried about Allen. To say the least, Cross wasn't the most pleasant guy to be around with, and the fact that he forces Allen to call him 'master' just makes Lavi shudder in disgust. Allen never told Lavi how he got stuck with such a bastard, or if they were even related, but Lavi knew his boundaries. Allen would tell him eventually, and he will listen like the good friend he is.

In all honesty, Lavi wasn't sure if he should be worried about Allen. Other than his strange crush on Kanda, the kid was okay. He never had any bruises or unusual cuts on his body, so that meant no sign of abuse, unless it was sexual, but knowing Cross, he'd never touch Allen that way. Allen just seemed like your usual happy-go-lucky kid that was just stuck with the wrong family, unlike Kanda who just hated his.

"These two are going to be the death of me." Lavi mumbled to himself as he yawned softly and snuggled his face into his arms. "Maybe I should nap…" His mind began to wonder off as sleep overtook him.

**XxX**

Allen was exhausted. He was lying down on his bed after he had finished cleaning the mansion his owner oh-so-happily dirtied every day. His shoulder length silver hair was in a low pony tail to keep it out of the way as he cleaned, but now that he was lying down, it was just a bother. The boy sat up and removed the hair tie Miranda had given him one day and placed it on his nightstand. He then let his eyes wander to the photographs that sat neatly in their frames not too far away from the odd-looking gray lamp. He reached forward and grabbed the first frame that held a picture of his old life; his life before Cross had shown up, before Mana had died.

The picture held a small Allen with brown hair in the middle of a group of circus workers. To his left, a man with muscles larger than life kneeled down next to him, a wide grin on his face; the man's blond hair pulled back in a neat pony tail. To Allen's right was a woman with brown locks that waved around her face. Her eyes were encircled with dark black makeup that made it seem like her dark orbs were blended together with the eyeliner and mascara. She was Miranda.

Behind Miranda was a man with black hair and a streak of white. He wore a long cape and his pale skin made him look like a vampire, which in many ways he was. He was Krory. Krory was naïve, but over all had a kind heart. Behind Allen was a man he cried over every time he saw the pictures of him.

Mana was his foster father, but Allen still would call him 'Papa' whenever he was referring to Mana. The man had raised him and taken him in when no one else would. He took care of him and made sure he had a home, well somewhat. He taught Allen everything he knew now.

"Just keep walking…" Allen mumbled to himself, repeating the final words that Mana had said to him. Allen's gray eyes watered slightly as he took in a deep, shaky breath. "I don't know where I'm supposed to go, Mana…" Allen set the picture down, not bearing to look at it anymore. The boy brought his knees up to his chest and held them tightly against him.

Suddenly from down stairs, the front door slammed open, announcing Cross's appearance. "Idiot apprentice!" Allen's head snapped up, quickly scrambling to his feet, slipping them into his slippers and running out of his room to greet his master.

"Master!" Allen planted a fake smile on his pale face as he ran down the steps. Next to Cross was an elegant blond woman with a small waist and a tight small black dress. Her blond hair was in curls that ran down to the top of her firm ass that Cross was greedily holding.

"Oh, Marian! He's just so cute! Is he your son?" The woman looked over at Cross; her accent was Australian.

Cross grunted, as if the thought completely disgusted him. "Him? Don't be foolish, beautiful. He's just a servant." Cross looked back at Allen and narrowed his eyes. "Well, idiot apprentice!"

"I-I cleaned everything, Master. Your room's ready!" Allen bowed his head as Cross and the woman walked passed him. The woman giggling and moaning all the while walking up the stairs to Cross's room. When Allen heard the door shut he sighed and walked back to his room and kicked off his slippers. Soon, the noises will begin and he'll have to take another pill to go to sleep.

**XxX**

Allen was awoken by the sound of the house phone ringing over and over. His master never picked up the phone fearing it was the dept collectors whining about the money he owned them. Allen groaned and sat up and glanced at the digital clock on his nightstand; his hazel eyes widening and he jumped out of bed like a bolt of lightning.

"Oh no! I over slept!" He stumbled over the sheets and got his feet tangled in them. He cursed softly under his breath as he tripped and landed on the hard wooden floor. He turned his body over and worked his fingers with the knots around his ankles until they came loose enough that he managed to get free. Allen heard some screaming before a hard slam near the front of the manor rang out.

"Damn it! Idiot apprentice! Pick up the damn fucking phone!" Cross finally snapped as the ringing of the modern phone only grew louder. Allen hesitated a little before kicking the sheets away and walking to his dresser, where the phone laid on the floor. He grabbed it and looked at the caller ID; it was Lavi.

Allen quickly answered it and pressed the phone to his ear as he stripped from his pajama pants. "Lavi! I'm so sorry! I over slept! I didn't mean to keep you waiting!" Allen hopped on one foot as he balanced the phone on his shoulder so he could talk and undress at the same time. He finally kicked the pants off and quickly looked around for his jeans.

"_Relax, Moyashi. I figured as much and I just called to tell you that school's been canceled thanks to the snow. So for today, I'm kidnapping you to have a nice day in the snow with Yuu-chan and Lenalee. Whattya say?"_

Allen froze mid-step and looked out the window and walked over to it, ignoring the fact that his smooth pale legs were shivering from the cold. He noticed how much snow had fallen during the night and blinked to himself. "Well, if you're kidnapping me, then I really have no say in this do I?" Allen said before walking away from the window and sat on his bed. He wasn't in a rush anymore.

Lavi laughed. _"Good point! I'll come pick you up in an hour, alright?"_

Allen couldn't help but smile a bit. He nodded even though the person over the phone couldn't see it. "Alright. See you soon, Lavi." Allen said and as soon as he heard the other say 'good-bye' he hanged up. He looked around the room before grabbing socks, shirts, sweaters, thermals, his coat and his jeans before placing them all down on his bed. He stripped from his long sleeved shirt and folded it along with his pajama pants. He began to dress, putting the jeans on first, then the black thermal and a white shirt. He grabbed a jacket and slipped it on before zipping it up and snuggling into the warmth.

Allen was always cold, even during the summer. He usually always has a jacket with him, but half of the truth in that was to use the hoodie in order to cover his white hair. Everyone still thought he had bleached his hair even though he told them over and over that he never did.

"Idiot apprentice!" Cross called from down below. Allen's hazel eyes widened and his face grew ashen. He quickly pulled on his knee-high boots and grabbed his coat, gloves and Lavi's scarf before running down stairs to meet his master in the kitchen. Once Cross saw the boy, he shut the refrigerator door violently and sat on the stool near the counters. "Fix my breakfast, damn it." Cross mumbled and grabbed the pack of cigarettes, pulling out a stick.

"Sorry, I over slept," Allen said before placing the clothing down on the edge of the counter and going back to the abused refrigerator to look at what they had. _Ham, cheese, two eggs left… Beer, chicken, juice, left over spaghetti that I have to throw away… _Allen mentally noted as he glanced over the many empty shelves of the stainless steel refrigerator. He didn't know why Cross kept beer in the house if he never even drank it; he only drank the finest wine, which only meant that Allen had more debt to pay off. Allen didn't bother asking though as he began to take out food and placing them over the stove. He grabbed the two eggs and cracked them onto a plate, then grabbed a frying pan and placed it on one of the heaters on the glass stove. He turned the stove on and grabbed some oil to spread throughout the pan. As he let the oil boil to a simmer, he went ahead and began to cut the pieces of ham and cheese, placing them in the plate filled with the eggs and mixed everything together.

Once he heard the crackling of the oil, he stopped mixing the eggs, ham, and cheese together. Grabbing the plate, he titled it over the pan and let the soon-to-be omelet fall neatly onto it. The eggs began to crackle loudly and he turned the heat of the stove down. Allen watched as the omelet turned from clear to a golden yellow color. He soon grabbed his spatula and slowly pushed the tip under the egg as he began to push it up to flip it over. Once it was on the other side, he pressed the spatula on top of the egg. Soon enough, Allen turned off the stove and grabbed a plate from one of the shelves overhead. He slid the omelet onto the plate and looked over at his Master who was only glaring at the food, like it had done something utterly horrible to him.

"Do you want ketchup?" Allen asked as he placed the plate in front of his master. Cross nodded and set the cigarette down in the ash tray. Allen walked over to the refrigerator and opened it, grabbing the half empty bottle of ketchup and walking over to Cross. He popped the top and applied pressure on the bottle as he turned it up-side down to pour some of the liquid onto the egg.

Cross grabbed a fork and started eating, but kept his gaze on the boy. "Where are you going?" Crossed asked, swallowing a fork-full of omelet.

"Lavi's gonna pick me up soon." Allen said as he set the spatula and frying pan in the dish washer. "I'll pick up some groceries on my way back, alright?" Cross grunted a response as he continued eating. Allen put his gloves on and grabbed his coat and Lavi's scarf before leaving the kitchen and going to the front door. He slipped on his coat and wrapped the scarf around his neck a couple times, before walking out into the cold day.

The snow was deep enough that his foot sunk once he stepped on it. Allen wondered what exactly Lavi had in mind today. Allen didn't have to wait long before the red head was running down the sidewalk to him.

"Hey! Moyashi!" Allen looked up and saw Lavi running towards him with a wide grin. His red hair was flapping around in the wind as his replacement scarf moved around him. Lavi wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulders and grinned as he leaned on him, making Allen step back a bit to keep balance. "Have you been waiting long?"

"Not at all" Allen said softly as he smiled up at Lavi, moving a bit closer to gather Lavi's warmth. "Where are we going, anyway?"

Lavi grinned more and began to pull Allen along. "We're going to pick up Yuu and Lenalee and head over to the park for a picnic, and then we'll be going down to a club!"

Allen stumbled for a few steps and glanced up at Lavi with a confused expression. "One, it's too cold to have a picnic, and, two, I'm not old enough to enter a club, Lavi." Allen mumbled as he fell into step next to Lavi, who only grinned down at him and patted his head.

"Not to worry, Moyashi, and if anything, I'll keep you nice and warm during our picnic." Lavi winked and wrapped an arm around Allen's waist as they kept walking. Soon a Japanese-like house came into view surrounded by regular modern British dwellings. Allen's attention was drawn to the house they were going to. He had never seen Kanda's house or knew where it was for that matter. Lavi and Allen stopped walking when they got to the front door of the house and Lavi knocked. "Yuu! Hurry up, will ya! It's freezing out here!" Lavi shouted, but his grin never faltered.

Not two seconds after Lavi finished speaking the door was slammed open and Mugen was pressed against Lavi's neck with an angry Kanda glaring daggers into Lavi. Kanda's mouth was turned into a tight line and his left eyebrow twitched in anger. "How many times do I have to fucking tell you not to call me by my given name, usagi!" Kanda snapped angrily as he pressed Mugen harder on Lavi's neck.

Lavi's face paled slightly and he backed up, pushing the tip of Mugen away with his fingers. "Calm down, Yuu. You're always so cranky in the mornings." Lavi stated as his grin returned. Kanda only 'tch'ed in reply, pulling Mugen away, while whipping the edge clean as if Lavi had dirtied it. From behind Kanda, an elderly man walked up to them; his gray hair was all over the place, but his mustache was unkempt.

"Yuu, don't be mean to your friends," Tiedoll said as he patted Kanda over the head, only to receive a dirty look from the Asian. "You three have fun now!" Tiedoll pushed Kanda out the door and quickly shut it behind him. Kanda, who was caught off guard, ended up crashing into Allen who yelped and fell back into the snow, with Kanda hovering over him.

Allen's pale face turned bright red when he opened his eyes to see Kanda's strong features and somewhat flushed face nearly inches away from his.

"Tch!" Kanda suddenly stood up and grabbed Mugen who had fallen on the floor. He glared at Lavi and then stormed out of the front lawn of his house. Lavi looked down at Allen who simply stayed on the snow covered floor and helped the boy up.

"You okay, Allen?" Lavi asked as the boy slowed began to calm down. Allen nodded and sighed.

"I'm fine." Allen mumbled under his breath and smiled up at Lavi. "Let's go." Lavi only nodded and began walking after Kanda who was a good yard in front of them by now.

**XxX**

Lenalee was waiting outside her apartment building with a large picnic basket in her hands. She watched the cars roll by and the snow slowly stop falling, but still, she had been waiting outside for nearly an hour now and neither Kanda nor Lavi had shown up. Komui was watching her from his bedroom window and was about to jump out and grab his baby sister, when he spotted the red hair that belonged to Lavi. He let out a sigh of irritated relief and locked his jaw before looking down at Lenalee. She had spotted them too and was now running towards them, being careful not to spill anything inside the basket.

"Kanda!" Lenalee said happily as she threw one arm around his neck and snuggled into him. Kanda wrapped both arms around her and held her in place. "Gosh! I've been waiting, since forever! What took you guys so long?" Lenalee then noticed the new addition to their group. Allen was standing awkwardly in the back with Lavi. "Oh! You could've told me Allen was coming!"

"Sorry, Lenalee! It was kind of a last minute thing." Lavi said as he gave the girl a small kiss on the cheek and turned back to Allen. "So, we all ready to go?"

Allen's mood had dropped from low to none by then. Not only was he going to spend time with Lenalee, but he was going to have to watch Lenalee and Kanda make out for half the time they'll be in the park, and probably the whole time in the club as well. Lavi noticed the drastic change in Allen and wrapped his arms around Allen's small body again to pull the boy along. The other couple was walking in front of them by now and Lavi had to make sure they didn't leave Allen behind.

"You okay, Allen?" Lavi asked. He wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to invite Allen to come along. He knew how much Allen hated Lenalee and he knew how depressed Allen got when he saw Kanda and Lenalee together, but this was all for the best, right?

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Allen said, smiling up at Lavi slightly. Lavi wasn't fooled though; he knew damn well the smile was fake.

"No reason," Lavi smiled, pressing his cold lips on the side of Allen's forehead. Allen's face warmed up with the small kiss and he relaxed.

Soon, the four of them arrived at a park covered in a white fluffy blanket. They chose a spot under a large tree. Lenalee set down a blanket and then began to set the food down across the blanket along with the drinks of hot cocoa, tea and coffee. Kanda stood there watching Lenalee while holding Mugen to his side. He glanced back to see Lavi holding Allen from behind and Allen's rosy cheeks flushed over something Lavi had said. Kanda growled in disgust; the sound making Allen and Lavi glance up at him.

"Something wrong, Yuu?" Lavi asked resting his chin on the top of Allen's head.

"Tch"

Kanda turned back to face Lenalee then took a seat next to the tea cups. Lavi blinked, then rolled his eyes at his friend. Allen gripped Lavi's coat sleeve slightly and looked down.

"Let's go sit down." Allen said, as he pulled away from Lavi and made his way to the blanket. He sat down next to Kanda while Lavi sat down next to him and Lenalee on the other side of Kanda. The food was a mix of Chinese, Japanese and English. Allen recognized a couple of Chinese dishes that he had tried while moving around with Cross. He also recognized one or two Japanese dishes. Without a warning, Allen's stomach growled loudly catching him, and the other three off guard. Lavi turned to look at Allen before a wide grin spread over his lips but he held down his chuckles. Lenalee giggled softly while Kanda glared at the boy.

"Help yourself, Allen!" Lenalee smiled and began to pour Kanda his tea, then Lavi's coffee and hot cocoa for herself and Allen. Allen leaned forward and grabbed a plate and fork and began to eat a bit of everything spread on the blanket. Lavi laughed finally and mimicked Allen's movements, eating a little bit of everything he could find. Kanda grunted in disgust again and grabbed a bento box filled with soba that Lenalee had prepared for him.

"This food's amazing, Lenalee!" Lavi chirped with excitement as he stuffed his face with some curry.

"It is!" Allen replied and smiled happily as he ate his fill for the morning.

Lenalee smiled and sipped her hot cocoa before talking. "Thank you. Jerry helped me make them since I needed a few extra hands and Komui doesn't know how to cook."

"Tch. Your idiot of a brother might poison us if you let him cook" Kanda spoke suddenly.

"Kanda." Lenalee scowled and sighed. "Don't be mean, Kanda." She added and shook her head as she watched the red head and albino eat. Kanda 'tch'ed again and ignored the girl.

Soon the food was gone and the four of them where leaning back on their hands, resting their fully bellies. Allen fell back on the snow and was surprised when the cold of it didn't bother him at all. Lavi glanced at him and chuckled as he lay down as well, staring up at the sky with Allen. Allen closed his eyes and slowly began to enjoy the small warmth seeping down from the blocked sun. He didn't mind the cold now; having Lavi laying there with him, Kanda near him and not verbally abusing him.

"You look cute when you smile, Moyashi." Allen opened his eyes to see Lavi's head hovering over him, grinning like usual. Allen's face warmed up; he didn't even realize that he had been smiling.

"T-Thank you, Lavi."

"Tch. If you two are going to make out do it away from me." Kanda's curl voice broke the trance Lavi had on Allen. Lavi looked up and scowled at Kanda before sitting next to Allen again. Allen's smile turned into a frown and he sat up to look at Kanda; the frown quickly turned into something sadder and he bit his lip.

Kanda had Lenalee in between his legs and she was pressed tightly against him; his lips where at her neck, kissing the red hickies that he had made. The girl had her eyes semi closed and her lips parted half way in a silent moan.

Allen looked down and away from the sight. He felt a strong stab-like feeling in his chest and he bit his lip harder, almost drawing blood. Lavi frowned at the couple and brought Allen into a tight hug, taking the boy's view away from the couple. Lavi felt Allen trying to hold back tears and felt the boy's body shake. Lavi wanted to stand and slap Kanda; wanted to punch Kanda until he understood how Allen felt, but Lavi stayed where he was, holding Allen and stroking his hair.

**Well, that's the second chapter. Hope it was okay .w. I did my best on this guys. XD Sorry if there was any OOCness in this ~.~'''**

**Anyway, sorry for any mistakes and what not. **

**Oh, and more news. I'll be traveling to New York for the New Years, so I'll be wishing you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Years everyone!**

**You know Kanda, Allen, and Lavi all wish you one too. Though Kanda would never say it. **

**Hope you enjoy the chapter and what not. :P Love you all.**

**~ SaYa**

**K A N D A **


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, at this very moment, I'm in a car and it's snowing like crazy o.o'' so in order to keep my little mind in place I'm gonna see if I can update this as soon as possible. I'm not even in New York yet D8 **

**I do not own –man, you all should know this by now, 'cause if I did, Lenalee would've died in the second episode. I'm such an amazing fan girl no? XD **

**Snow… I never wanna see you again for a while… -sigh- Thank god it doesn't snow where I live .''**

**Sorry if there's any more OOCness in this chapter. ~.~ and slight Laven and what not. .**

_**XxX**_

Allen watched them with anger and hate. He couldn't stand the feeling he felt anymore; this cold, bitter feeling. His chest ached and throbbed as he watched them share spit. He wanted to grab her by the hair and pull her away and grab the nearest blunt object and thrust it over her head; over and over until there was nothing but blood and brain matter to identify her. He wanted to bathe in her blood and laugh at the face Kanda would make when he witnessed the bloody murder. He wanted to tell Lavi how thankful he was and how much he appreciated all Lavi had done for him, but Kanda belonged to _him _and _only _him.

No one would take Kanda away from him, not even this little… whore. She was just another obstacle in his way that he will easily get over. He's gone through so many; he wasn't going to stop now that he was so close—so very close to what he was aiming at. Kanda would be his no matter what—no matter what.

"Allen, wanna make a snowman?" Allen looked up at smiled a bit at Lavi's attempt to make him feel better. He glanced back at the couple who were shoving their tongues down each other's throats and stood up.

"Yeah."

Lavi grinned and grabbed Allen's hand and began to pull him away from the couple. Allen stumbled behind Lavi and chuckled slightly. Lavi tried so hard sometimes. They stopped a couple yards away from their picnic area and the Asian couple was merely black dots in their view.

"We should do a snow man for all four of us." Allen suggested and grinned when Lavi's eyes lit up.

"That would be awesome…"

Both of them laughed and began to gather snow and rolling it into balls. Soon enough they had two snowmen done: snowman Allen and Lavi.

"Something's missing…" Lavi muttered to himself as he observed the two snowmen. Snowman Allen was wearing the black beanie Allen had found in his coat; he didn't even remember putting it there. They had drawn the little scar on the snowman's face, but something was still missing. Next to Snowman Allen, Snowman Lavi was wearing an extra eye patch Lavi carried around and Lavi's headband.

"What?" Allen asked as he looked up from his crouched position on the floor.

"Ah!" Lavi exclaimed and took off his scarf and wrapped it around Snowman Lavi's neck once then wrapped it around Snowman Allen's neck so they were connected. "How's that?" Lavi grinned and looked over at Allen.

Allen couldn't help but smile at this and stood up, dusting the snow off his pants. He looked at the snowmen again and smiled more. "They're perfect!" Lavi grinned more and ruffled Allen's hair.

"Great! Now to do Yuu's and Lenalee's." Lavi said as he began to work on Kanda's snowman. Allen stood by and watched for a while until he glanced up and looked over at Kanda and Lenalee. His smile fell as soon as he noticed how Lenalee's cheeks were flushed red and she was snuggling against Kanda, her legs pressed tightly together and Kanda's hand in-between them. Allen made a tight fist next to him and gripped his coat sleeve tightly.

He watched as Kanda moved his hand a bit and imagined that it was him that was sitting in-between Kanda's legs; that it was he who Kanda was touching, kissing… loving. Kanda was his after all; whether or not Kanda knew it didn't matter.

"Moyashi?"

Allen turned around to look at Lavi. He already had Kanda's snowman done and was working on Lenalee's. Snowman Kanda had an angry expression on its face and had a belt around its 'waist' with a stick acting as Mugen hanging from the belt.

"Whattya think, Moyashi? Doesn't it look like Yuu?" Lavi asked while grinning. He was working on Lenalee's face.

Allen smiled and chuckled slightly to himself even though he was quite upset that Lavi had interrupted his day dreaming. "It like a chibi version of that BaKanda." Allen said and walked over to Lavi to help him with Lenalee's snowman.

"Heh. Yuu looks so cute, no? Wouldn't it be adorable if Yuu would turn chibi?" Lavi asked as he worked on Lenalee's hair.

Allen thought of that for a slight second. Kanda as a chibi, that would be something he'd paid to see, and then keep of course. He would probably put little cat ears on Chibi Kanda and keep him as a pet; train Kanda to welcome him home from school every day, though he'd have to hide Chibi Kanda from Cross or else Cross might snap.

Just thinking about owning a Chibi Kanda made Allen's face burn with heat. He wanted—no, he _needed _Kanda to be his no matter what.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Kanda's voice broke Allen's train of thought, and he was having a great time imagining what Kanda would look like if he was chibi. Kanda noticed Allen's blush and then the four snowmen. "….What the hell?"

"Yuu! What do you think of your snowman Yuu?" Lavi chirped happily again and glomped the poor Asian man.

"Get off me baka usagi!" Kanda snapped and pushed Lavi down, making Lavi fall back onto Lenalee's snowman, destroying it. Allen smiled a bit and chuckled. "What the hell's so funny, Moyashi!"

Allen jumped and laughed harder; Lavi wasn't sure if Allen was laughing at the fact that he had destroyed Snowman Lenalee or that Kanda had pushed him. Kanda only growled at the laughing boy and, with one hand, grabbed him by the coat collar and pulled his fist back. Allen's eyes widened, as he closed his eyes tightly, expecting the punch to come at him, hard and fast.

"Kanda!" Allen's eyes opened to see Lavi holding back Kanda's arm and Lenalee running towards them. Kanda growled and pushed Allen pushed Allen down, his glare never leaving him. Allen's back collided with the snow as he looked up at Kanda with a ting of excitement in his eyes. Kanda picked up on that and narrowed his eyes in slits, starting another growl - this time, with more vehement.

"Fag." Kanda spat out and turned around quickly, slapping Lavi's hand away from his arm and walking towards the picnic area again, leaving Allen on the floor.

"A-Allen, you okay?" Lavi asked and kneeled down next to the boy.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Allen smiled and looked at Lavi happily. "I got his attention with just laughing, Lavi." Allen smiled more, the excitement in his eyes growing now, almost glowing.

Lavi paled slightly and helped Allen up. "Allen…" Lavi mumbled with concerned. "Did you _want _Kanda to hit you…?"

Allen smiled again and nodded. "I wanted him to hit me; it was such a rush!" Allen giggled and grinned at his worried friend.

**XxX**

The booming music was pounding in Allen's ears and his hazel eyes were wide as the colors of the club flashed over the dancing couple. First red, then blue, green, yellow, orange; all flashing and flooding the dancing bodies with heat and light. The bright lights made Kanda's sweating body glow and shimmer as he rubbed and grinded his hips on Lenalee's. The girl grinded her hips against Kanda and swayed her waist around with the music, wrapping her hands around Kanda's neck to pull themselves closer.

Allen looked down at the glass in front of him and bit his lip slightly. He wanted to be the one in Kanda's arms. He wanted to be the one that Kanda would rub up against; the one Kanda would bite, lick, kiss, and just simply _touch_. The ice in the glass shifted; the liquid inside changed colors with every flash of light. A man had bought him a couple drinks since he wasn't old enough to drink, or buy it. Now the man was just sitting next to him and sipping on his beer and talking, though Allen was sure that the man knew he wasn't paying attention.

"…so after a while, you know, she just dumped me for no fucking reason! It was fucking annoying! I-I mean, I was gonna propose to her and everything! And then sh-she has the fucking nerve to come back and tell me she's fucking pregnant with my best friend's baby! She's a fucking whore! Can you believe this shit!" The man continued with his story, clearly not caring if Allen was paying attention or not.

Allen glanced over at him and nodded slightly. _He's drunk…_ Allen thought slightly and looked back at the drink. He sighed slightly and tipped the glass to his lips and downed the burning liquid. He set the cup down and shuddered slightly-he'd never get use to drinking.

"Need another, kid?" The man asked.

"Yeah."

"Hey! Bartender! Can I have another scotch?" the man yelled at the bartender who looked at them suspiciously, but got the drink nonetheless. The bartender set the glass down and walked away. The man raised his glass and Allen picked up his. "I hate women."

"So do I…" Allen mumbled as they tapped their glasses together and downed their drinks at the same time.

After an hour of doing nothing but talking about how much they hated women, the man had to leave and Allen couldn't order another drink, but he was already too drunk to form words correctly. He was resting his head on his arms as he watched the people keep dancing. That's when he spotted Kanda leaving the dance floor and walking towards the bathrooms. Allen's eyes lit up from behind their drunken haze as he stood up, stumbled and regained his balance. He took a couple seconds to make his legs realize he wanted to walk towards the bathroom before they actually did so. He stumbled passed drunks and dancing people and almost tripped on his own two feet while doing so. When he reached the door that lead to the hallway with the bathrooms he stopped. He saw Kanda leaning against the wall in front of the men's bathroom, waiting for it to become unoccupied.

Allen took in a deep breath and opened the door; the moment the doors closed, the hall was enclosed with an eerie silence. Kanda looked up, and then scolded when he saw Allen. Kanda then noticed Allen swaying with a drunken gaze.

"You're drunk, Moyashi." Kanda spat, his voice echoed slightly in the hall.

Allen giggled a bit and walked over to Kanda. "'m not, BaKawnd." Allen slurred and giggled again.

"Tch." Kanda growled softly. "You can't even talk, much less walk." Allen swayed again and Kanda grabbed his arm to keep the boy standing. "Tch. You should go home, Moyashi."

"Nya, Kanda, you're touching me." Allen giggled again; his words didn't hold the slurred they did a couple seconds ago.

Kanda narrowed his eyes and growled, quickly letting go of Allen's arm roughly. "You're a fre—" Kanda's words were cut short when he felt smooth, warm lips pressed on his. The lips tasted like scotch and a slight pinch of cheery. His eyes widened and he grabbed Allen's shoulders and pulled him back. "What the hell, Moyashi!" Kanda snapped.

"Touch me more, Kanda…" Allen mumbled, moving closer to Kanda despite Kanda's grip on his shoulders. His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol and kiss and his fingers where tangled with Kanda's coat. "P-Please… Touch me more…" Allen's face, regardless of how much alcohol he had consumed, still looked as innocent as ever. In fact, Kanda had to admit, Allen looked cute.

Kanda couldn't form words. He couldn't make a sound to even tell Allen how much he hated this situation. His body felt frozen, yet hot with Allen's words and face; Allen's actions. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even himself, but he wanted to kiss Allen; wanted to pin the boy to the wall and just ravish the boy senselessly. Kanda couldn't move though; couldn't move his feet or hands. He felt his shoulders being pushed back and his back touched the wall behind him.

"Damn it, Moyashi, stop talking nonsense." Kanda growled out and started to push the boy away again when Allen leaned up and captured his lips once more. Allen moved his body so his legs were in between Kanda's and their chest were tightly pressed together. Allen pushed Kanda back against the wall again and leaned up so he was on his tippy toes and wrapped his arms around Kanda's neck to deepen the kiss.

Kanda was at war with himself. He wanted to pull away, to push Allen against the wall and punch him until he learned his lesson, then there was the side of him that wanted to kiss back, that wanted to lift Allen up and pin him on the wall and mark the boy all over. Kanda's mind was playing a violent game of tug-of-war and for now, the side that _wanted _Allen was winning. Kanda didn't care how much the boy had had to drink; he just wanted to feel Allen against him.

Finally Kanda began to kiss back, pulling Allen closer to him; Kanda's arms going around Allen's waist. Kanda's hand began to massage the boys firm and curved ass, earning a small gasp from Allen. Kanda took the opportunity to slide his tongue into the boy's mouth and rub their tongues together.

"Mmmph…" Allen moaned softly and slowly began to rub his hips against Kanda's. Kanda's hands pushed Allen's hips closer to his groin and began to rub back, feeling more friction with the motions.

Kanda pulled away from the kiss and leaned down to kiss Allen's neck; he nibbled and sucked on certain areas, causing the boy to squirm and moan. He bit down on a spot and started to suck violently on it.

"A-Ah!" Allen threw his head to the side and gripped Kanda's coat more.

"KANDA!"

Kanda pulled his face away from Allen's neck and looked towards the doorway. His eyes widen at the sight of Lenalee's horror-filled, flushed expression.

**XxX**

**A/N: There's the third chapter. This took longer than I had expected. But yeah, I started writing this when I was in the car a week ago going to New York. I learned that I will never drive in snow, let along in New York. I'm going to be slow-ish in updating thanks to exams and what not.**

**Hope you guys liked it! Sorry for any OOC and what not. **

**~ SaYa**

**K A N D A**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, I'm sorry everyone that I haven't updated in a really long time. The thing is, Nessie, my old laptop, crashed and wouldn't turn on anymore. So basically I had to work my pretty (hehe) lil butt off to get the money I needed to buy a new computer. And I finally got one, but all my writing is gone so I had to type everything up again. My apologize everyone. Hope you can forgive me!**

**So here's chapter four, and I promise I'll try to update faster! **

**XxX**

It had been over a week since the incident at the club and it all seemed like some kind of hazy dream now to Allen. The rumors around school were that Lenalee and Kanda had broken up, no one knew why, so they just kept saying that Lenalee walked in on Kanda having sex with another girl, or something around those lines. The two Asians hadn't been in school for the whole week to explain to anyone what had happened. He knew what had happened, but there were some parts that he just couldn't remember due to the alcohol in his system. He remembered seeing Kanda going to the bathroom, he also remembered kissing Kanda and being pushed back due to Kanda's reaction; he also remembered Kanda kissing him; he remembered the feeling of Kanda's tongue in his mouth, rubbing against his own pink muscle. He remembered the feeling of Kanda's lips on his pale neck; the feeling of Kanda's teeth biting down on the soft, sensitive skin. Then _it _happened.

"_What the hell are you doing!" Lenalee was standing by the doorway, that shocked, horrified expression covered her pale face; her large purple eyes stared at them in disbelief. Kanda quickly regained his composter and pushed Allen back. The boy, being taken aback by the whole situation, stumbled back and fell down on his butt. He watched as Kanda walked over to Lenalee and grabbed her by the shoulders._

"_Don't touch me!" Lenalee shirked and slapped Kanda's hands away. "You were kissing him, Kanda! He was moaning!" Lenalee snapped at the older man, tears streaming down her cheeks as if stating what she saw would make it all a lie. _

"_Lenalee—"_

"_No! I don't want to hear it!" Lenalee snapped and stepped back, narrowing her eyes at Kanda. She turned to look at Allen, noticing the boy's drunken state. "This is all your fault!" _

_After that all Allen could make out is that they were screaming at each other. Kanda was flushed in embarrassment and anger, but was obviously trying to hold back his irritation so he wouldn't hit Lenalee, which seemed like it was taking a lot of self control. Lenalee was shaking in both anger and the fact that she couldn't stop the tears from falling. The closer Kanda got to her, the more Lenalee's shoulders shook. The more they argued, the more it seemed things would turn from bad to worse. Suddenly, without a warning, Lenalee had slapped Kanda across the face and stormed off and away from the two. Kanda stood there, shocked and not sure what to do as his pale cheek turned red with Lenalee's handprint. _

"_This…" Kanda snarled angrily and turned to face Allen. He quickly closed the gap between them, picking up Allen by the collar of his shirt and slamming him into the wall. "I'm going to kill you… Stay the hell away from me." Kanda growled again, pushing Allen back onto the wall. He took a step away from Allen and…_

"Allen? You okay?"

Allen was snapped out of his thought by the sound of Lavi's voice. Lavi, who sat behind him, was leaning over the table so he was closer to the white haired boy. Lavi's emerald eye was covered with worry for his friend; he didn't have all the facts about that night, but he had glued the missing pieces together to understand what happened.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Allen hadn't told Lavi much; only that Lenalee had walked in on something. The _something _he had left out of his story. Lavi knew Allen had been drinking since he saw Allen with a man and downing shots like crazy. He had figured Allen had gotten drunk and had done something with Kanda; but he never realized that Kanda would willingly do _anything _with Allen, and for Lenalee to walk in on them and all this to happen, it must have been intense. Those were his thoughts though. He wouldn't assume things he wasn't there to witness.

"Lavi, sit correctly and stop talking to Allen." Komui snapped suddenly. Their teacher had been on the edge lately; the whole week people had been spreading rumors about the couple, and each time Komui caught his students whispering about it, he would snap, which would cause a bigger commotion.

"Sorry, Komui…" Lavi mumbled as he sat down correctly. He glanced over at Allen to see the boy looking down at his desk. He wasn't paying attention to anything that was going on in any of their classes; his mind seemed millions of miles away.

Komui continued to teach the class, trying his best to ignore the mumbles from his class. With every sound his class made, Komui seemed to be more on edge. He didn't want to be here, teaching students science and chemistry and biology. He had better things to do, like taking care of his little sister who was hurting because of a cretin British bastard and Asian asshole. It didn't take long until the bell rang for school to end and Komui was all but happy to dismiss his class.

Allen got up, grabbed his things quickly and stormed out of the room, not waiting for Lavi. Allen rushed down the hall, head down, not wanting to look anyone in the eyes. He knew no one knew anything that happened that night, but he couldn't feel like if they did, they would hate him more than they already did. He felt like if he didn't blend into the background, people would notice him more and if they did, there would be this huge bright sign pointing at him saying "I DID IT! I BROKE THEM UP!" He honestly didn't care what the others thought of him, it would just make it harder to get to Kanda if so many people noticed him. Lavi was enough of a problem as it was. Don't get him wrong, Allen loved Lavi to death, but just as a friend. Lavi didn't seem to get that.

Just. As. A. Friend.

It was obvious to him that Lavi thought of him more than a friend sometimes and he did like the redhead, but like and love were two completely different things, and his love for Kanda would always be greater than any _likeness_ for Lavi. When Allen was out of school grounds, he managed to relax his body and look up towards the sky. It was gray, much like his eyes, and cloudy. He couldn't tell if it was because it would snow again, or because it had been snowing.

Deciding he didn't want to return home at the moment, he checked his phone, and seeing as there was no message from Cross demanding him home right this second, he smiled. Allen crossed the street and lightly jogged towards the park where they had gone to the week before. Their snowmen were still there; well Kanda's, Lavi's and Allen's snowmen was, Lenalee's had be destroyed, which Allen was more than overjoyed that it had. He slowed his walk until he reached the area with the snowmen and stopped in front of Kanda's. A small smile spread over his lips as he ran his fingers down the top of Snowman Kanda's head to his 'chest'.

Allen sighed softly as his fingertips played with the snow. His fingers were beginning to grow cold, but he pushed the sense away and continued to stare at the snowman. Allen lost track of time; he didn't know how long he stayed there, wishing that the snowman would materialize into the actual Kanda. Wishing that Kanda went looking for him. Wishing that Kanda loved him. He knew none of those would come true though. Kanda wouldn't love him by his own, but there had been a reaction to the kiss they shared. He _knew _Kanda had to feel something for him, anything!

It was almost seven at night when Allen decided to head home. Snow had begun to fall, covering the ground in pure white again. He checked his phone, and seeing as how Cross had neglected to tell him to come home again, Allen could only assume that his dear old Master was having fun with a woman, getting drunk, or losing all the money Allen had worked hard to get.

Allen sighed softly and shoved his phone back in his coat pocket. He really wasn't paying attention to where he was going, his body was on autopilot, knowing where to go but not really watching where he was going. A sudden wave of déjà vu washed over him as he stopped dead in his tracks. Gray eyes stopped at an alley way; the darkness didn't let him see much of what was hidden there, but there was no need too. He knew where he was, and as the memories started pouring back, his heart grew heavy.

This had been where he had met Kanda for the first time.

_Allen had been walking home from a bar a couple years back and it was late. He had won a good deal of money, cheating his way through poker was one of the few skills living with Cross had taught him. He still felt uneasy about having to walk home alone after midnight in this part of town, where even looking around would get you shot. Every time he had to walk home he made sure to do it quickly, but today was different. It had been a snowy day, much like the day he was having. _

_Allen hadn't noticed someone following him out of the bar; he hadn't heard the second set of footsteps. When he suddenly bumped into someone that had seemed to just appear out of nowhere, Allen accidently dropped his bag. _

"_I-I'm sorry!" Allen had quickly apologized and was already standing up when the tall muscular man grabbed his shoulders and pushed him roughly against the brick wall. He saw, from the corner of his eyes, that the man that had been behind him picked up his bag. _

"_You sure this is the right one? He seems kinda small." The man holding Allen back said, narrowing his eyes at the kid. Allen had begun to shake by then, not knowing what was going to happen. _

"_Yeah. It's defiantly this one." The other man said as he showed the man holding Allen the bag filled with the money he had won in poker. Allen's eyes widen in fear, realizing the two men in front of him were about to steal the money, but hopefully leave him alive. _

_The smirk on the man holding him told him otherwise. _

"_P-Please let me go…" Allen's voice was soft and hardly above a whisper, but the man heard him, and the smirk only grew._

"_Ya know, he's kinda cute. He even kinda looks like a girl." The man holding his bag walked over to them._

"_You're right." Now they were both smirking._

_Allen wanted to scream, and was about to, but the sight of a blade made the scream stop dead in its tracks. The man holding him held the knife to Allen's neck, slowly moving up and down the pale skin there, cutting him just slightly._

_That's when a black figure appeared out of the alley way that was right next to the building Allen was being held up against. The figure quickly kicked the man holding the bag, and before the man holding Allen could react, he was on the floor with the other one, the knife out of his hand. The black figure grabbed Allen's hand and quickly pulled him away from the two men that were recovering from the kicks. Allen, before being dragged into the alley, picked up his bag and quickly followed the black figure._

_Allen couldn't tell who it was that had saved him, but he was grateful. He was very, very grateful. That's when the figure pulled him around a corner and inside an open door. He closed the door quickly and in a second, Allen was pressed against the guy's chest._

"_Stay quite." The man said, his breath brushing Allen's lips. They were pressed tightly together in the small space that they had. Allen wanted to ask what was going on until he heard the two men shouting and running right outside the door. His heart rate quickened and he gripped the man's shirt tightly; panic filling all of his senses. _

_After a while, the figure opened the door and walked out, Allen followed. The small light over head allowed Allen to see the man's features and he realized that the man who had saved him was not much older than he was. He had long black hair that was held up by a pony tail and his dark eyes seemed to drill a hole into Allen's skull. _

_To anyone else, the man could have been a demon with the way he looked at him, the way he stood and the way he spoke, but to Allen, the man could be a God. _

_Ever since that day, Allen never once stopped thinking about him. The guy never told him his name, but not long after Lavi introduced him to Kanda, the same man that had saved him. Allen just knew they were meant to be._

Allen sighed softly, gripping his bag tightly. He had been standing in front of the alley for a while, and he was starting to feel cold. He shivered slightly and hugged himself more, and as he turned something caught his eye.

Kanda was walking towards him, his head down in thought, hands shoved his coat pocket. It was obvious that Kanda hadn't noticed Allen, but the joy that filled the boy by just seeing Kanda again after this long went without words.

"Kanda…"

Kanda looked up, a bit startled to hear his name. Dark eyes met hazel as Kanda came to a stop, the snow around him suddenly feeling colder than it should.

"Moyashi…"

* * *

**FFFFF… this took longer than I thought…. But yeah, here it is. Chapter 4. Sorry it took so long D': **

**I hope you guys like it…**

**I'll **_**try **_**to update faster, but I won't promise anything. I hate AP classes and how busy they keep me ._. **

**~SaYa**

**K A N D A**


	5. Chapter 5

Allen was frozen in place, his cold hands gripping the coat that hugged his body tightly. His mind had gone blank, his body numbed by the cold. Small snowflakes began to gather on his head, blending in with the color of his hair; they collected on his head, shoulders and school bag. Allen couldn't help but notice it doing the same with Kanda; the man's hair was covered in white, his black coat was too.

The man that stood in front of him seemed to have the same reaction to their unintentional meeting; both of them frozen like status as the cold wind brushed their hair back. Both wide eyed and full of shock at seeing each other after so long. That's when Allen's mind began to race again, all thoughts made up only about the Asian man he had so desperately wanted to see for the past week.

All he could think about was Kanda. Kanda's deep eyes that only gazed upon him. The dark locks that fell around the Asian's face and back; Allen just wanted to run his fingers though Kanda's hair, knowing how smooth and soft it would be since Kanda took such good care of it. He wanted to feel Kanda's strong arms around his waist, pulling him closer to the strong chest he knew laid beneath all the clothing thanks to changing in the locker room. He wanted to feel Kanda's lips on his; on his neck again, and everywhere else they could possibly wonder to. He wanted to touch Kanda's bare chest, wanted to feel just how strong the man really was. He wanted so much more—so much more!

Kanda on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to just beat the living shit out of the boy in front of him. The British prick had cost him his girlfriend—even though he really didn't love her, or like her. Lenalee was just an excuse to get out of the house so he didn't have to deal with his so called 'father' and 'brothers'. She was just an excuse to go out Friday nights; an excuse to pretend to be happy. But this thing in front of him had shattered all that—he really didn't care that he wasn't with Lenalee anymore, but it was such a pain in the ass to have to deal with her brother, and his 'father', both questioning him about what happened. Lenalee had agreed on not telling them that she had caught him making out with Allen, because well… that's just disgusting. Why would he ever do that? It was probably the alcohol he never drank that made him act like that.

"Kanda…"

With the sound of Allen's voice, Kanda snapped. He quickly began to walk over to the Brit. Once in front of him he noticed that excited look on the younger teen's face; that just fueled his anger even more. Allen opened his mouth to say Kanda's name again, but before a single sound left the younger teen's mouth, Kanda had already punched Allen across the face; it happened so quickly that Allen didn't have time to react. The punch made him lose his balance, and the moment he hit the floor, he was being dragged into the alley by his hair. Allen squirmed and thrashed around, kicking his feet and trying to pry Kanda's fingers away; the grip was too strong—to tight—almost ripping Allen's hair by its roots.

"You've been a pain in my ass for long enough." Kanda hissed, throwing Allen down on the dirty snow covered floor. As Allen tried to sit up, Kanda brought his foot up, kicking Allen down again and stepped on the boy's chest, pressing his boot down on it.

"K-Kanda! S-Stop! I-I can't breathe!" Allen grabbed Kanda's leg in an attempted to push it away from his chest only to receive another kick to his face. The hit shot hot pain down Allen's spine, a small painful whimper leaving his lips as Kanda took a step away from him, no longer pressing his foot down on Allen's chest. The Brit rolled over to his stomach, holding his chest as he pants in an attempt to breathe again. He stood up a bit, using his knees to support him and the dirty dumpster that was next to him to help him stand.

Kanda walked over to him once Allen was on his feet again, grabbing Allen by his throat and slamming him back against the wall. Without hesitating he brought his fist up to Allen's face and began to punch him. And punch him. His sight went red, all he could see was his target—Allen. All he could hear were the sounds of muffled screaming and crying coming from the smaller male. He felt Allen's blood on his face—felt it on his knuckles. It wasn't until he heard Allen _laughing _that he stopped.

Kanda pulled his hand back, letting Allen drop down to his knees, coughing up blood. The boy's white hair was splattered with blood; his face was cut up from where Kanda's knuckles punched hard enough. Blood oozed down his cheeks and face, covering that odd scar he had and probably making new ones. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, mixing itself with the blood and making a dirty mess on Allen's pale cheeks, but he was laughing. His busted lips were spread wide as he laughed, holding his chest with one hand and gripping the dirty snow in the other. Kanda stood there, watching in confusion as he began to come to his senses, catching his breath slowly.

"I…" Allen began; the laughter dying down and the tears were all that remained. A muffled sob escaped Allen's lips as the salty tears got into his wounds, causing him to wince in pain. "I never… did get the chance… to thank you… for saving me…"

Those words caught Kanda by surprise, all his anger and rage suddenly just vanishing. The look Allen was giving him was that of a boy who was filled with guilt—filled with guilt and admiration for the taller male. Allen's hazel eyes closed and the boy's body fell forward, face first into the snow; his body limp. For a moment Kanda's mind made him believe that Allen was dead, that is until he heard a small moan from Allen.

"…Moyashi?"

Nothing.

Kanda walked over to Allen, kneeling down and rolling him onto his back. Allen's eyes were closed, his face smeared with blood, tears and snow. Kanda bit the inside of his lip and sighed, looking at the entrance of the alley, hoping to see someone who would take care of Allen; he saw no one. With a heavy sigh he looked down at Allen again, and then put his arms under the boy's body, picking him up and pressing Allen against his chest. Allen didn't wake up; didn't protest. Then again why would he? He always wanted to be this close to Kanda.

**XxX**

Kanda reached his house about half an hour after beating Allen in the alley. He was still carrying Allen in his arms and couldn't reach into his pockets to find his keys so he knocked with his foot. Kanda didn't know what had willed him to take the Brit to his place instead of just dropping him off somewhere and calling Lavi, or the hospital to come pick him up. He supposed it was a guilty conscious, then again, he can't explain all his actions half the time so he let it slide. The door was opened by none other than his foster father, Tiedoll, who just looked down at him both baffled and curiously.

"Yuu what ar—"

"Shut up." Kanda snapped as he pushed pass Tiedoll and into his house. Tiedoll closed the door behind him and Kanda could feel the man's stare on his back—which just annoyed him all the more.

"What on earth happened to that poor boy?" Tiedoll asked as he walked closer to his foster son, wanting to see the damage on Allen's face clearly.

Kanda grunted a responds, narrowing his dark eyes at his _father. _He quickly made his way up to the stairs, climbing them two at a time and turning the corner to walk down the hall and to his room. He kicked the door opened and closed it behind him with his foot, dropping Allen down on his bed.

Allen didn't move.

Kanda didn't know why, but fear started bubbling up in the pit of his stomach as he watched the Brit just lay there—he wasn't even sure if Allen was breathing or not; he was pale, covered in cuts, bruises and blood. Kanda didn't think of anything except the fact that he might have killed Allen—he didn't care about going to jail or what others might say—just the fact that he might've killed Allen—his Allen—troubled him.

Pushing those kinds of thoughts aside, Kanda went to his bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink. He walked back to Allen, sitting next to him on the bed and began to slowly clean his wounds, observing the boy's features. He wiped the blood off his forehead, easily noticing the pentagram scar on it, the gash coming down over his eye and to his cheek. The Asian male felt a bit… stupid to not have noticed this sooner. Then again, why would he even waste his time paying attention to this boy? The one who's been obsessed with him since god knows when.

With a sigh, Kanda began to remove Allen's coat, then his vest and shirt. That's when something else caught Kanda's eyes again—Allen's arm; the red, deformed arm that he always kept hidden from everyone. On the hand a cross was imbedded on it—a green crystal like cross. It looked like someone had stabbed it into his skin and never removed it, so skin grew over it and it just became part of Allen. The boy's fingernails were black, and Kanda doubted it was from nail polish. It seemed that the nails were just naturally that color. Part of his was completely disgusted by the whole thing, but another side of him was curious. He wanted to know what had happened to Allen's arm—to his face. He wanted to feel the skin on that arm, to see if the skin was rough or soft—even though by the looks of it, it'll most likely be rough.

He just wanted to _touch _the boy. Wanted to touch him and kiss him again.

With a frustrated growl, Kanda got up and threw Allen's clothes in a corner of his room. He patched the boy up, grabbed some of his old clothes and dressed him, not really bothering to remove Allen's pants or shoes. He let Allen sleep on his bed and walked out of the room, quickly walking downstairs.

Now he just wanted some peace and quiet, but once he reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Daisya, his foster brother, he knew that wasn't going to happen. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and began walking to the door.

"Hey, Yuu. I heard you brought a kid home who was all beat up!" Daisya called from his spot on the couch. The man stood and walked behind Kanda, walking with him to the door, actually expecting a conversation out of the Asian. "I bet you did it to him and felt guilty after right?" Daisya's face lit up when that got a reaction from Kanda. "I was right, wasn't I?" The teen laughed and put both hands on his hips, leaning in so Kanda could smell the make up the teen was wearing. "So who is he?"

Kanda glanced back at Daisya, and before the teen had a chance to ask another question, he opened the front door and slammed it shut behind him.

* * *

**So like… sorry this took so long but I have no internet access at the moment. ( Ironically enough the day after I finished this my internet came back.. XD )**

**But anyway, there's chapter five. xD**

**I actually started writing outlines for my stories to get my ideas in order and it's actually working so I'm gonna keep doing it. For this story I have until chapter ten all planned out, so let's see how well this plays out. **

**Feel free to point out any errors and such, I won't mind. And leave a review if you'd like. :3 **

**I love you all. XD You're the reason I keep writing ; w ; **

**~ SaYa**

**~ K A N D A**


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